My buddy, my pal, my friend.

As a parent, you work had to protect your children and give them a childhood free from the challenges and responsibilities that come from adulthood until it becomes time -preferably when they turn 18 and leave the home. But for me, I never thought the tables would turn before I reached my 35th birthday with the diagnosis of my MS.
My life story may be long and complicated, but the real hero of my story has been my daughter, Becky. I never realized how important she would become to me, not only as a 20160229_193909friend but as a caregiver to me and her brothers. As a child she witnessed me being abused by my ex husband, she saw me struggle as a single mom that was homeless with 2 young children while trying to get back on my feet. Then I received my diagnosis 2 years ago, and she was the one who came to the rescue to help me when I had a husband who was dealing with his own demons. She cooks, cleans, manages to keep straight A’s and prepare for high school next year while keeping up with her 3 brothers -2 have ADHD and require constant supervision. From the very beginning I chose to be honest and open about my diagnoses. She went with me to pharmaceutical dinners, I provided her books from the NMSS that were geared towards teenagers to help her understand what I was going through and how it would affect her. She has had the hard task of explaining to her friends why she can’t hang out with them sometimes or why she has more responsibilities then they do. Never once has she complained how hard her life is. I have moments of guilt with her doing so much for me, but I love her and give her more freedoms as reward for her hard work. I’ve had a long talk with my daughter about her life and learned the hard truth that my life has been MS first and family second. My own daughter felt unable to tell me how she felt and be selfish with her life because mom has always come first.
MS is part of my life but it doesn’t have to be a us priority. We need to never forget that our children are “living” with MS too. They may be hiding their true feelings because they think we are too tired and don’t have time to listen to them. Take time to have mommy and me time. Do something special for your younger caregiver to show that they are loved and appreciated. <3

This entry was posted in Kids, Mom Story, Multiple Sclerosis by Lovey Ray. Bookmark the permalink.

About Lovey Ray

Diagnosed in 2014, Lovey is an active local volunteer and group coordinator for a local support group and since diagnosis has befriended people all over the US. She says “MS is not a dead end, but an unexpected left turn that my GPS didn’t warn me about.”. She is a busy mom of 4, an avid artist who crochets and works in a local chiropractic office. Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/lifeoflovey

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